Back in February when I recalled the special dates of that unique month, my wife Maria was surprised I had forgotten that in February of 1993 we took our first trip to Italy. How could I have drawn a blank when we were a part of thirty families from Belleville, Nutley, and Cedar Grove, NJ to travel to the north of our homeland to ski, eat, drink, and have a heavenly experience for nine days, ending up in a magical Venice at Carnivale?
A unique and memorable time it was as we skiers challenged the Dolomites above the treelines, only to make it to the middle of the mountain to indulge in a Northern Italian luncheon in the snow, fit for a king, ... or a last supper! The highlight of our adventure was a wedding we planned for Danny Vitiello and his fiance Joyce! No kidding, ... Judge Frank Zinna did the official ceremony, habidasher Jay Piro gave away the bride, and yours truly read from the Bible! Our neigborhood pal, Danny, knew all about it, but Joyce was stunned. So were we when the sixty businessmen from Milan insisted on joining us in the tiny Montana Hotel on the mountainside, serenading the happy couple into the wee hours and making the Jersey wedding in Italia unforgettable! So what if the whole thing were illegal, and Judge Frankie had to do it all over again when the two love birds returned to Nutley. Who cares about details at a time like that! Not that Jersey crowd.
But the real reason for the emotional impact the journey had on our subconscious was ... Michael Geltrude. This brand new friend was our tour guide, trip organizer, and spiritual connection to everything Italian on that journey home. And best of all, he was to become a life-long friend. Let me explain. Please read on.
Michael Geltrude turned out to be a fun-loving Italian-born immigrant who arrived in Nutley, NJ back in the early fifties. He had become a distinguised American educator by the time we met him in '93. With a career in secondary education as a mathematician, coach, counselor, and administrator, his fluent Italian from Bari in his roots only contrasted slightly with the fact that he was one of us, ... a high school football star at Nutley in the fifties, a soccer standout in college, committed to his American town of Nutley, respectful of their traditional opponent from Belleville, ... and with a philosophy of life that said, "Joey, carpe diem (seize the day)!" That and more we have learned from Mike over the years.
Best of all for me, however, is that Mike became a close personal friend. We collaborated on many Belleville-Nutley Thanksgiving Eve Gridiron Classic dinners; I was with him and his family when his younger son John was inducted into the Nutley High School Athletic Hall of Fame for soccer; he spent time with me in my home to coach me on what really happened in the 1957 Mud Bowl battle between our two schools, and what magically evolved that night after the game, ... so I could write Bad News on the Doorstep as the nostalgic lesson it has become for so many; we hugged and laughed and cried on many occasions together. A great man had become my friend and had begun to pour into my life.
Mike was even more special than that! Sammy Stellatella (the Nutley and Penn State immortal) and Mike were influential in getting so many Nutley kids into becoming Nittany Lions. Martha Stewart (yes, that Martha) was not only his classmate, but she was also the young lady Mike asked to the Prom back in high school, only for her to learn later that our romantic Italian friend had to reneg on the future American icon in favor of his real sweetheart, Judith, who would later become his wife. In the Fall of '58 he became Nutley's last single wing quarterback, scoring that all important touchdown in that historical upset of defending State Champ Montclair before a NYC area TV audience. Oh, I have goose bumps writing about this Rennaisance Man!
Last October Mike organized a reunion between the rival Mud Bowl teams. With a little help from his teammate Fiore Pucci, the Belleville and Nutley legends of that mystical '57 game featured in my book came from all over. We broke bread together, prayed together, laughed and allowed a few tears of joy to appear as well. The close to fifty men, most now in their sixties, experienced a night to remember. And it was Mike who made it possible. He loved to make people smile.
On Friday, February 24 Mike and I were scheduled for coffee and ..., on Franklin Avenue in Nutley, so he could bless my newest trip to Florence and Rome, Italy. My daughter Tina was working the Olympics for Westwood One Radio and CBS-NY in Torino, and my wife Maria and younger daughter Corrine were to fly out that evening for a rendezvous in Florence. Then we would be off to Rome! This newest February moment could not be started without my friend Michael giving me last minute instructions for our Italian holiday. However, when I called his cell phone, his son John answered. His brother Danny, mother Judy, and a core of Mike's devoted friends were gathered at Hackensack Medical Center. The boys from Nutley were there to see their quarterback. Mike was saying, "Goodbye." We would not have our coffee and ... that day.
A couple of days later on a spectacular Monday in Florence, Italy, my brother-in-law Joe Zarra, Nutley's energetic Superintendent of Schools, called me. He relayed that Mike had left this earth on Sunday, February 26. The wind blew hard, and my heart hurt. Later that day, Ronnie Sanfillipo, one of Belleville's finest athletes and a legendary Jersey coach and athletic director himself, e-mailed me: "This world has lost a great man too soon."
While our mourning still lingers, two hours after the call from the States, I walked slowly over one of those breath-taking ancient bridges in Florence. I was in the country Mike had introduced me to thirteen years ago. I sensed the presence of the Lord, and I immediately heard Mike's voice: "Carpe diem, Joe. Seize the day, love your girls and the moment you have been gifted with. I am in joy with the Lord. Carry on."
To my friend I say, "Arrivederci, Michael, until next time. That will be the time when we'll have our coffee and ..., that precious time when we will meet again."
Please read on to experience the annointed eulogy for Mike by his son John. It will touch your heart. If you want to possibly save your own life or that of a loved one, read his official obituary that will follow.
John Geltrude's eulogy for his father Michael:
On behalf of our family, I would like to thank all of you who are here today and who attended the services over the last few days, especially those of you who have traveled such great distances to be here. You have certainly made this difficult time a little easier to bear. I can’t think of a more fitting tribute for a man who deserves all the praise bestowed upon him by all of us here.
And we all know he would do the same for any of us. More than anything my father enjoyed being in the presence of large groups of people that he loved and it would certainly make him happy to see all of the people from his life together. You see, the seemingly boundless positive energy he always had came from him being around all of you. I also wish I had a nickel for every time someone has said to me what a great man my father was. That would make me almost as rich as my brother.
I also want to thank those of you who have supported us over the last year. Especially his friends, former students, and classmates who have called numerous times and visited him during the illness. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that meant to him and how it sustained him through all the tough times. He was especially proud of all his former students who wished him well. When he saw what great and successful people you turned out to be, he realized what a great job he had done as your teacher. Especially those who decided to become teachers because of his influence. I can think of no greater honor for him.
Thanks also to all the doctors and nurses who provided care for this devastating disease. Especially Dr Pecora, Dr Ingenito, and Dr. Davies at Hackensack who were so patient with all of my pestering questions. They were willing to fight as long as my dad was willing to fight and they did that until the end.
It isn’t really surprising to see so many people here today. This was a man who dedicated his whole life to helping and pleasing others. If I may ask everyone to take 10 seconds and think of some way my father went out of his way to help you. It isn’t very hard to think of something I’m sure.
Perhaps he stayed after school to help you with homework or to write a college recommendation for you. Perhaps he ran a charity benefit for a cause that you were part of. Perhaps he took a group of track athletes to events that noone would even think of doing. Maybe he took a group of students on a ski trip to Vernon Valley. Maybe he took your soccer team to Italy or Germany or organized teams from Ireland and France to visit and stay with you. Experiences that none of us will ever forget as long as we live, and shaped us to be the people we are today.
Perhaps in your moment of grief he was thoughtful enough to bring food to your house so you would have one less thing to worry about. Maybe he gave you a ride to the airport at 5 in the morning. Maybe he coached your team with a passion and love that was unmatched and inspired you to carry on his legacy and coach youth teams yourself. Maybe you needed a hotel room or tickets at Penn State.
Maybe you needed help getting into a college of your choice. Maybe he organized your class reunion or ski trip to Italy so you can just go and have a good time and not worry about any logistical headaches. And he never ever did any of these things with and agenda, and certainly never did it to make money. Actually, I figure it probably cost him money to do some of these things for us.
I am also sure that he greeted each and every one of you with a truly genuine smile every time he saw you, or went out of his way to say hello and greet you warmly with a big hug. For me personally, one of the most telling things about my father’s nature was how he started each day. He loved life so much and looked forward to living every day that before he would go to work, I remember laying in bed and hearing him whistling Italian songs and singing Frank Sinatra songs as he got out of the shower and was getting ready for work. And this just wasn’t once in awhile, this was every single day. This spoke volumes to his genuine happy and optimistic nature.
I cannot even begin to list all of the things he did for all of us. But personally we all know what they were and I ask you to never forget whatever he did for you that made him so special and unselfish and generous, and beautiful. And to me that is his true legacy.
Since my fathers love in life was teaching, it was appropriate that in my opinion, he did his best teaching in the final year of his life, and it was by example. I spent more time with my father over the last year than I have in the last 5 years combined. I think we had been to something like 150 doctors visits and numerous other treatments. During that time I learned more about this man that I had in the previous 35 years of my life. As if I didn’t respect him enough, the way he handled this illness was so moving and inspiring that I want to try and share some of that with you.
As many people here have dealt with cancer in their families you know the tremendous pain and suffering that accompanies the disease. Melanoma in particular is disturbing for the sole fact that it is cancer you can see. Near the end he had more tumors on his arm than one can even count. Even as the cancer spread to his lungs and brain, and the complications of blood clots and infections set in, he would never ever, ever complain. The extent of his complaining was to say that his arm was itchy. Even at the end he never said why me, or this isn’t fair, or even remotely look upset. I now know looking back that he was in more pain and discomfort than he would ever let on.
In true form he did this so that we would not feel bad for him or get upset. And it worked. Without his strength we all would have fell apart. I now know the true nature of a man can be seen when he is face to face with his own death. On many occasions he would say to me as we were driving home from a doctor. I lived a great life, I have a great family, I traveled all over the world, and I loved the job I had.
What else can I do?
Sometimes we would be at a cancer center and see someone my age and sometimes even a teenager or young child. I could read the thought on my fathers face before he even spoke and said – “that is so much worse than what is happening to me, they didn’t even get a chance to live their life”. In true form he was always thinking about others even in his darkest days. A lot of people over the years would say to my brother and I, how proud my father was of us and everything we accomplished whether it be in sports or business or whatever. I can tell you, that doesn’t compare to how proud we were of him this last year, and the way he fought and battled and loved life more than ever, and embraced those around him and his love for life even more.
I can only hope that when I am in my last days on earth and knowing that I am going to die, that I can have the same peace and satisfaction that my father had with his life. I felt much better than I thought I would the first time I saw him in the casket on Tuesday. I think it was clear to everyone that the man was truly at peace, and I may be crazy but I can swear he was smiling.
I also received a call from one of my father’s oldest and dearest friends who is a priest and who administered last rights to my father while he was still very much aware of what was going on around him. Father Lew told me the following: “John, I can tell you without a doubt that after my talk with your father last week he was fully ready to meet the lord. Only a man who lived such a fulfilling life would not fear death, and at that moment I knew I could no longer fight this and I would come to accept it myself.
I understand now the concept of quality over quantity. For this man was truly one of a kind, a life force which none us had seen before and will never see again.
In closing I think it would be fitting to leave you with a quote since my father was so big on quotes:
- When I was 4 years old I thought: My daddy can do anything!
- When I was 7 years old I thought: My dad knows a lot… a whole lot
- When I was 13 years old I thought: My father does not know quite everything
- When I was 18 years old I thought: That man is so out of touch
- At 21 I thought: He knows a little bit, but not that much
- At 25 I thought: Before I decide, I better get dad’s idea first
- At 30: What would dad think about this?
- Last year: My dad literally knows everything
- Today: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.
Michael Geltrude, 66
He died Sunday, February 26, 2006 at Hospice of New Jersey @ St. Joseph’s Hospital in Wayne. Born in Barletta, Italy on December 2, 1939, he immigrated to the U.S. in 1951 at age 11 and has been a resident of Nutley ever since. He graduated the Nutley High School class of 1959 where he was class treasurer. He received 3 Varsity Letters in Football and 2 Varsity Letters in Track. In 1957 he was the Nutley High School Football Record Holder for the Longest Punt, which was 82 yards.
Mike graduated Seton Hall University with a B.S. in Mathematics in 1963, a Masters Degree in Education in 1970 and a Masters Degree in Mathematics in 1971. At Seton Hall he also earned 3 Varsity Letters in Soccer. From 1963 to 1998 he worked for Cedar Grove High School as a Mathematics Teacher. From 1985 to 1998 Mike was the Chairman of Mathematics Department at Cedar Grove High School. From 1977 to 1996 he was an Adjunct Mathematics Professor at Bloomfield College. From 1998 to 2005 he was a Mathematics Instructor for Montclair State University. Also, at Cedar Grove High, mike was the Track Coach from 1965 to 1980, the Boys Cross Country Coach from 1975 to 1985 and Girls Cross Country Coach from 1985 to 1995.
Mike’s Honors and awards include the Nutley/Belleville Thanksgiving Dinner Award for Outstanding Contributions to Nutley Football in November of 2005. The Nutley Unico Man of the Year Award in May of 2005. The Nutley Soccer Hall of Fame in 2000. The Outstanding Mathematics Award from Tandy Technology. The Cedar Grove Outstanding Teacher Awards in 1993 and 1994. Who’s Who in American Education.
Michael’s memberships and activities include Nutley Unico, 3rd Vice President, Program Chairman and Scholarship Committee. Nutley Elks B.P.O.E. 1290. Nutley Hall of Fame Committee. Nutley Third Half Club. Nutley/Belleville Thanksgiving Football Committee. Nutley Midget Football Coach from 1960 to 1964. Nutley Traveling Soccer Coach from 1979 to 1989.
In 1981 Mike coached first Nutley Soccer team to play outside the U.S. by organizing a two week Tour of West Germany. In 1989 he Coached Nutley Soccer team that toured Italy.
Mike was the co-founder of the Nutley Alumni Association responsible for college scholarships for Nutley High School students.
In 1964, at the age of 24, he was a candidate for the Nutley Board of Education, which made him the youngest in township history to that point.
Mike has been instrumental for many years in helping Nutley High School students gain admission to Seton Hall, Bloomfield College and Montclair State University.
Mike also participated in and has supported numerous local charitable causes and has quietly and discreetly helped the needy and sick in Nutley by provided them rides to doctors and hospitals as well as shopping for them when they could not leave their house. With no fanfare, no recognition and not as part of any organization he has helped disabled people in the community.
Funeral mass was Thursday 9:30 a.m. at Holy Family Church, 28 Brookline Ave., Nutley. Entombment Holy Cross Cemetery, No. Arlington.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions to The Mike Geltrude Foundation for Melanoma Awareness & Research, c/o Sal Cocco, 281 Franklin Ave., Nutley, NJ 07110, would be preferred.
Always a man of action, Mike took it upon himself to be a one-man force for melanoma awareness. He simply started by informing his many friends about his condition and what they could do to prevent it. As the story would have it, they told two friends and they told two friends and so on and so on…
Michael Geltrude, of Nutley. He is survived by his beloved wife, Judith (Verrico) Geltrude, two sons, Daniel J. and his wife Maria and John M. and his wife Stacy and three grandchildren, Michael, Frank and Daniel E. Geltrude.
Interestingly, there have been two people in that chain that have been diagnosed with melanoma upon going to the dermatologist at Mike’s urging. Fortunately, it was caught at an early stage and the chances for survival are excellent. There’s no telling how many more of those people who, because Mike educated them, will benefit from early detection into the future. Even as his health declined, Mike continued to take every opportunity he could to inform anyone he came in contact with about melanoma and ways to prevent it.
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